Friday, February 21, 2014

Sometimes perfection isn't what we want to see.

        There is a certain appeal to watching growth. Sure, there's beauty to an orchid bought in full bloom, but at least for me it doesn't match the thrill of watching as new leaves form or a new bud come out of a dormant plant. There's a beauty to seeing a new sprout. The leaf buds in spring....

         I think it's true of people, too. Sometimes already developed beauty is what people want, and then they go to the ballet or concert or art museum. But then you have shows like "So You Think You Can Dance" which seem to exist more for the making of. The growth. There is a magic to seeing dreams even before they are realized. 

         So maybe I'm just trying to rationalize, but this feels like a reason to put myself out there before I'm "ready." I feel like, perhaps, there could be good to being transparent as I learn to dance. Letting it show as my performing self takes form instead of hiding until it's "good enough." It will never be good enough, if I set that as a limitation I will never even start. 

         I don't know. But when the worst I'm doing is being some crazy dancing chick in broad daylight... well, do I really need much in the way of proof? No one is wasting money on me since street performance is tip-based, I'm not taking prime time at this point away from other people who might do this (or even pedestrian space at a time when it's crowded)... is there a point where I could do harm to anything beyond my pride?

         I may have to work on setting a more official "event" for the equinox... ;)

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