When I do my nails, more often than not, there's some meaning between the colors I choose. A need for energy can be reflected by red polish, despair by black, a need for calmness by blue... I've occasionally wondered how uncommon this is, is this something that isn't rare but no one talks about it? Anyway.
Today I got a mani/pedi, and it hit me that what I need isn't raw energy and passion. I've been going towards reds a lot recently, but that isn't really what I need. I need to step back and focus on a god support, positive growth. I need to get more grounded, and build myself a base on which to dance and sing and, I don't know, spin fire. Whatever. But the point is, that's where I need to focus. Natural, grounded energy.
So instead of fire, I have toes with a dark, slightly red woody tone and dark green fingernails. I don't know if this makes any sense.
I feel as if I've been focusing so much on my high aspirations that I've been completely avoiding the gap in between. Trying to build a fire without wood. It feels strangely empowering to recognize that. I'm not in a place to burn brightly, but I can start slowly growing.
I can't burn yet, but there are wild and beautiful things in my future. I know it. I just have to step back, and deal with what I have, and strive to deal with now, rather than mope over my current state or dream of a distant future. I need to ground myself, and for once, that doesn't feel so bad...
(My first phalaenopsis)
Even epiphytic, beautiful orchids need to settle into a bit of dirt and moss and whatever before they can bloom.